I’m in the business of the intangible. I am hired to develop insights and ideas. I work with people in many different ways: as a business consultant, lifestyle coach, Realtor, and photographer. In each role I elicit my clients’ authentic voice, guiding him or her to see for themselves what feels right for them. Supporting them as they timidly let go of the “should’s” put upon them by other’s expectations. Even as a photographer it’s not the photograph I am selling, but an essence, an emotion, a mystery.
One of my real estate clients a few years ago described the experience of working with me in a conversation I will never forget. He said, “are you going to ‘miyagi-ize’ me again today?” I smiled and asked him what he meant by that and he said, “you know, you are going to subtly impart wisdom on me so I can make the best decision for myself and feel like I came to the conclusion on my own.”
“Yes, yes I am,” I told him, beaming. He got it. He was all in. He was committed to the process and I knew then that he would be able to see past all the should’s of where and how he should live that his extended family was putting on him and that he was going to make the best decision for himself. It was a great day, and he found the ideal property shortly afterwards.
But for every person I work with there are many others who never cross the threshold to become client. Some who can’t embrace the process and honor their inner voice. In most cases those people want guarantees before the process starts that a measurable change will occur. (I used to be one of these people, so I get where they are coming from.) You see insights are immeasurable. Every single insight offers value beyond measure. Sure, some insights can offer immediate, life-changing, big, bold, bright moments of awareness, but those are not the norm. Typically insights are quiet, small, subtle “noticings” that lead to a clients awareness of a subconsciously repeated pattern or an unsubstantiated fear. It’s up to the client to build momentum and create change as a result of having the insight. They need to put value into it, treat it like a tiny piece of gold, see that small piece of gold as “enough” and believe that there is more to be found.
So often people want a guarantee that they will quickly hit a mother lode. But that is not the way Soul Coaching works.
You see with soul coaching, I, the coach, can’t guarantee much at all other than that I will show up. Every time. I will be present, dedicated, non-judgmental and I will find your authentic self and coax it out. The real guarantee comes from the client. They have to take responsibility for the process. The guarantee they make is to themselves. They must guarantee to show up, to persist through frustration, to hold the space as sacred, to be honest and raw and to let go. But perhaps scariest of all is that they must acknowledge that even the smallest amount of insight is like finding gold. Uncovered in the soul, these flecks of golden insight are valuable beyond measure. And if they can learn to value that, then they will learn to value even the smallest, buried pieces of themselves.